Story

The Crash that Taught me my Code was Broken

Years ago, I found myself sitting in a parked car outside my office, hands gripping the steering wheel, unable to move.

I hadn’t crashed physically—but something inside me had.

By all outward measures, life was fine. I had the title. I was leading a high-performing team. I was the person everyone leaned on, the one who could always “handle it.”

But that morning, the thought of walking into another meeting, pretending everything was okay, and solving one more problem felt impossible.

What hit me in that car wasn’t burnout—it was clarity.
For the first time, I saw the invisible script I’d been running my whole life:

It wasn’t written down anywhere. No one told me to believe it. But it had become my personal operating system.

That story had helped me succeed. It made me dependable. Respected. Even admired.

But it was also the story that made rest feel unsafe, vulnerability feel dangerous, and delegation feel like dereliction.

That morning, I realized something crucial:
I’d been optimizing my life around an outdated belief.
And if I didn’t rewrite the code, I was going to crash again.

Deep Dive

Success Doesn’t Mean You’re Stable

That moment in the car became a turning point, not because I changed my schedule, but because I changed how I saw the problem.

I used to believe burnout was a time management issue.
Now I understand it’s a story problem.

We don’t just lead from strategy.
We lead from internal code—narratives about worth, trust, control, and safety.

And most of us are running old survival scripts like:

• “My value is in my output.”

• “If I rest, I fall behind.”

• “I can’t show weakness.”

These stories were installed early—often in childhood or the early pressure-cooker years of our careers.
They helped us get through. But they were never meant to help us thrive.

That’s why Layer One of the Resilience Stack is all about this:

Putting Into Practice

Apply the Resilience Stack This Week pt.2

1. This week, choose one layer from The Resilience Stack to explore deeply:

   • Mindset Reboot: Identify one limiting story you frequently tell yourself and consciously rewrite it into an empowering narrative.

   • Radical Self-Ownership: Notice one reactive habit each day and replace it with a deliberate choice aligned with your values.

   • Interdependence: Reach out to someone you trust and discuss how you can support each other more intentionally.

   • Growth Systems: Establish one simple, repeatable ritual that strengthens your clarity and stability daily.

   • Influence Amplifier: Practice grounding yourself fully before critical meetings, allowing your presence to speak louder than your prepared words.

   Taking small, intentional steps in these areas can profoundly enhance your internal clarity and external impact.

Updates

What I’m Watching

Severance, Season 2

Just finished the season and—no spoilers—but Willbot shook me.
The blend of eerie calm and existential dread hit a little too close to home for anyone who’s ever compartmentalized to survive.

TV with Beth (my wife) has become one of the best ways to unwind—lately it's less about escaping the day and more about processing it together.

Turns out, a strange sci-fi series can spark real conversations about identity, ambition, and how we show up in the world.

Content Updates

Stay Connected

• 3 new Substack post’s this week

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