Story

When Strength Becomes a Mask

A few years ago, I would’ve told you that resilience was the most important trait a leader could have. I wore it like a badge of honor—showing up no matter what, hitting deadlines, managing teams, calendars, expectations. Always with a can-do attitude. Always pushing through.

But beneath the surface? I was exhausted.

And I see it everywhere now. Leaders, founders, high performers—so many of us praised for our grit while silently burning out. We’ve been told that resilience is about bouncing back. Keeping pace. Staying productive.

But resilience for what?

If it’s just to keep grinding in a system that rewards overextension, we’re not becoming stronger—we’re becoming numb.

The truth hit me in a quiet moment, when the busyness faded and I realized I couldn’t feel grounded in anything I was doing. That moment cracked something open: I didn’t need more toughness. I needed more alignment.

Real resilience—the kind that lasts—isn’t just about powering through. It’s about remembering who you are when the world is spinning fast. It’s not reactive. It’s rooted.

It doesn’t come from willpower alone. It comes from something deeper—something spiritual. And no, I don’t necessarily mean religious. I mean the kind of inner clarity that helps you lead from presence instead of pressure.

This is what I now call spiritual resilience. The strength to pause. The courage to slow down. The wisdom to recalibrate—not because you're weak, but because you're finally listening.

When I coach leaders now, I’m not helping them push harder. I’m helping them come home to themselves. And from that place, they don’t just survive storms—they grow through them.

Because strength isn’t about holding it all together.

It’s about becoming whole.

Deep Dive

Resilience for What?

I remember coaching a high-level executive who had weathered every kind of professional storm—layoffs, mergers, failed launches. On paper, she was the definition of resilience. But during one of our sessions, she sat back, looked at me, and said:
“I don’t know what I’m bouncing back to anymore.”

That sentence stuck with me.

Because we rarely stop to ask why we’re being resilient. We’re taught to admire people who keep going, who power through discomfort, who never let anything shake them. But if resilience only keeps us cycling through the same overextended patterns, is it really strength—or just survival?

There’s a version of resilience that’s all performance. It helps you stay productive, hit the numbers, check the boxes—but it leaves you numb. Detached. Tired in a way that no weekend off can fix.

True resilience is something else entirely. It’s not just the ability to endure. It’s the ability to evolve.

The most powerful leaders I’ve worked with have made a quiet shift:
From asking “How do I keep going?” to “What am I going toward?”

That’s when resilience becomes transformational. Not about bouncing back, but about growing deeper. More aligned. More present.

This shift might seem subtle, but it changes everything.

Because when your strength is rooted in meaning—not just motion—you don’t just survive the storm.

You become someone new because of it.

Putting Into Practice

 Coaching Questions That Unlock Liberation

Take a moment this week—not to plan, but to pause. Sit with these questions, honestly and without judgment:

• Where in my life am I still trying to earn my worth?

• What would it feel like to trust my intuition more than my calendar?

• What am I pretending not to want?

These aren’t questions with quick answers. They’re invitations. To slow down. To notice. To begin reclaiming your agency.

Freedom doesn’t come from doing more—it begins the moment you ask deeper questions.

That’s the quiet power of coaching:
Not giving you answers, but helping you move toward them with clarity, courage, and compassion.

Updates

_{I am in Italy!}

This week, I’ve been in Orvieto, Italy, for the Orvieto Leadership Summit—a gathering of creatives, thinkers, and leaders exploring the intersection of art, leadership, and transformation.

Surrounded by centuries-old stone walls and live chamber music echoing through the city, it’s been a powerful reminder:

We lead best when we’re fully present. And presence isn’t just a mindset—it’s something we practice, through stillness, beauty, and honest conversation.

Content Updates

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