Story

When The Ache First Showed Up

A few years ago, I sat in the parking lot of a grocery store—not upset, not falling apart. Just… blank.

I had a to-do list on my phone, a full day ahead, people counting on me. But in that moment, I couldn’t remember why any of it mattered. Not in some dramatic existential crisis kind of way. More like the color had drained from everything. Like life had gone grayscale, and I was still trying to pretend I saw it in full color.

That’s when it first hit me—not just the tiredness, but the ache underneath it.

This wasn’t burnout from a busy week. This was something older. Something deeper. It wasn’t about sleep or schedule or supplements. It was the quiet ache of a life that no longer fit—and the fear of admitting it out loud.

I didn’t know it at the time, but what I was feeling was part of a much bigger pattern.

People all around me—friends, clients, strangers online—were saying the same quiet thing in different ways:

“I’m exhausted, but not from work.”

“I feel like I’m faking it.”

“I’m doing everything I’m supposed to—and I still feel lost.”

We’d built lives based on systems that promised fulfillment. Produce more. Perform better. Keep going. Don’t feel too much.

But those systems are crumbling. And the ache? That’s what it feels like to live through a collapse of meaning.

Deep Dive

What Ive Learned Since Then

The ache isn’t weakness. It’s not failure. It’s not a sign you’ve done something wrong.

It’s a message. A signal. A truth-teller that shows up when your life needs to be restructured around what matters.

It shows up as loneliness—even when you’re not alone
It shows up as burnout—not from work, but from misalignment.
It shows up as numbness—because it’s safer to feel nothing than to feel wrong all the time.

And I want you to hear this, especially if you’re quietly carrying that ache right now:

There’s nothing wrong with you.
This is a natural human response to an unnatural way of living.

Putting Into Practice

The 4R’s

1. Recognize

   “I’m overwhelmed.”
   “I feel numb.”
   “I don’t know what I need.”

   Say it out loud or write it down. No fixing. No judgment. Just naming.
   This is the first move toward honesty—and often, clarity follows.

2. Reset

   Move your body—not to perform, but to reconnect.

   • Go for a walk with no destination.

   • Stretch. Breathe deeply.

   • Step outside. Feel the air on your face.

   Let your body remind you: you are not stuck. You are still in motion.

3. Reach

   Text one person.

   “I’ve been carrying a lot this week. Can I check in with you?”

   We underestimate the power of being seen.

4. Reclaim

   Look at your calendar. Your commitments. Your yeses.

   • Does this reflect what matters right now?

   • What can be canceled, postponed, or released?

   Reclaim thirty minutes this week for rest, reflection, or nothing at all.
   That is not laziness. That is leadership.

Updates

What I’m listening to & Reading

👂Listening:

I am listening to Mel Robbins on Rich Roll’s podcast, and she talks about this idea she calls Let Them. And I’ve been sitting with it.

It’s helpful for me—not just personally, but also in how I support my clients. Because so many of us are trying to manage chaos, right? We think we have to fix everything. Keep everyone happy. Make sure no one misunderstands us. But what if we just… let them?

Let them have their opinions. Let them be uncomfortable. Let them do what they need to do.

It’s not about giving up—it’s about letting go of the weight that isn’t ours to carry. And when I think about the internal work I do with clients, a lot of it comes down to this same shift: moving from control to clarity. From holding it all, to letting go.

📖 Reading:

I’m reading a book on Human Design. It’s a new idea to me—even though it’s been around for a while—but I’m curious about anything that helps us understand how we’re wired.

For me, this ties directly into Slow Change. It’s another way of asking: How do our minds, our bodies, our hearts, and our gut instincts work together? And how can we live more in sync with who we actually are, instead of who we’ve been trained to be?

I don’t know yet if Human Design will become a core part of how I coach or teach—but I do know it’s giving me new language, and anytime something does that, I pay attention.

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